Elizabeth A. Garcia
  • Home
    • Earlier Author News
  • Books
    • I Cant Hear You
    • And Justice for Some
    • Raw Deal
    • The Trail of a Rattler
    • The Reluctant Cowboy
    • Hard Falls
    • Border Ghosts
    • Darker Than Black
    • The Beautiful Bones
    • One Bloody Shirt at a Time
  • Bio
  • Blog
  • Fan Page
  • Mystery Weekends

My Rant: Bullying in 2014

8/21/2014

8 Comments

 
Picture

Sometimes I see or hear something I’d rather not. It serves me right for being nosy. At the post office one day, I heard one of the “wish I hadn’t” conversations between two old guys.

One commented to the other, “I don’t get today’s kids.” My antennae shot up.

“They’s all spoilt,” his buddy claimed.

“They whine and complain about being bullied. When we was kids, you took it like a man and got even.”

I took issue with that. I was a kid more or less when they were and I recall both boys and girls running home crying to mamma. Those men weren’t talking to me, so I sifted through my mail and tried to stay quiet.

“Boys are all sissies nowadays,” one of them thought.

The other man grunted in agreement.

Here’s what I couldn’t say then. Get real. Bullying is a different creature now than it was when those old men and I were children. It has, over the years, become a vicious thing I know I could never endure. I cringe at the thought of any child or adult having to withstand such hateful treatment.

Even twenty years ago when my daughter was in elementary school, bullying had already morphed from what my mom would’ve called “teasing.” My little girl didn’t like dresses and she liked to wear her hair short. Her independent ways were not acceptable to one of her mean-spirited classmates. She shoved my daughter around, hit her, and called her ugly slurs that ten- year-olds shouldn’t know. 

When I complained to the school superintendent, my complaints fell on deaf ears. “She needs to stand up for herself,” was her sad opinion. No. When you’re ten, and you’re being hit and pushed by a bully, you need an adult to stand up for you. Children need adults to be examples of good behavior.

I told my daughter she should shove that abusive child’s face into the wall, but my kindhearted kid just stared at me with a blank look. So I’ve not always been the best example of a fine human being. I admit it, but I learned valuable lessons from a little girl with love and patience in her heart. Looking back though, I still believe someone in authority should’ve had a talk with the bully. There should have been consequences to acting hateful and to physical assault. If the adults in charge won’t correct a child’s bad behavior, how will he or she learn anything?

Now we have children killing themselves to escape the cruelty in their lives. With the popularity of social media and cell phones, bullying has reached new intensity. A child can be bullied in front of the whole world and there is no safe place. In other words, it’s not just at school anymore.

Shame on adults. We’ve taught our children this behavior by attacking people different from us and by not standing up when we see others being attacked. If you need proof of the intolerance of grown-ups, post a controversial statement on Facebook. Instead of rational discourse, you’re more likely to get name-calling and hateful rhetoric. I’ve taken down my posts when the fighting between respondents got too ugly to bear. I have friends with differing opinions and from all walks of life, all education levels, and all nationalities. I have dear friends who will never read what I write because they can’t. But they’re brilliant human beings with their own ideas on everything. Just like you and me. Would you scream “stupid” at them? If you would, then you and I couldn’t be friends in real life.

Robin Williams recently took his own life as a result of depression. This tragedy rocked me to my core. Who doesn’t know who he is? He shared his amazing talents with us for forty years. He hadn’t been dead two hours when the bullying started. He’s been called a coward and other offensive things. Why are people so quick to judge? Do those harsh tongue-waggers know anything about clinical depression? All I could think was “shut up!” The man brought joy to us for forty years. Unless you were living in his head, then just shut up.  

What has happened to us? We used to have respect for each other and we listened to each other’s ideas. As I grew up, listening to adults discuss issues helped me to form my own opinions about subjects of importance. Now we don’t want to listen to what others think and we respond in hurtful ways. Our kids are doing it and we wonder why. Way to go, Adults of America.

By the way, Old Post Office Men, boys are not sissies. Girls are not sissies. They’re human beings and they have feelings. We all do.



8 Comments
Patricia Godfrey
8/21/2014 06:04:48 am

You are right. Answer the old coots and address the hater culture in your fiction, perhaps. As a fellow writer, I have "it's all good material" syndrome, which sometimes makes me question my humanity. Be that as it may, this is a useful theme for a plot line in new book. go Elizabeth Go.

Reply
Beth Garcia
8/21/2014 06:57:32 am

Thank you for your encouragement! I have your syndrome, too!

Reply
Tim McKenna
8/21/2014 06:19:23 am

Thanks Beth, very thoughtful commentary. Two of my neighbors have tried to bully me and luckily I have reached an age where I don't tolerate such nonsense. When confronted they just slink away. Children always should be protected from unkindness and taught respect for others even if they are different. People start this bullying behavior young and if not checked, turn into bullying adults. Thanks again for posting.

Reply
Beth Garcia
8/21/2014 06:58:34 am

Thank you for your thoughtful comments, Tim. I hope to see you and Julie before long!

Reply
Frances
8/28/2014 02:35:15 am

Anyone who has lived has experienced this first hand or observed it, second hand. Sadly. You are right, bullying is bullying - then, now...no matter what method is used. And, yes, it requires immediate attention by a wiser person. Sometimes, the adults are not the wisest people. Sometimes, it is a Child who has the wisdom to see as it really is. Also, many studies have shown that many people who bully others were, themselves, bullied. Thanks for your post. It is a wise and much needed reminder to any Adult in regard to our responsibility toward any and all Children in this world.

Reply
Beth Garcia
8/31/2014 02:38:09 am

Thank for your thoughtful comments Frances.

Reply
Antonio S. Franco link
8/29/2014 03:20:39 pm

Beth, it seems that there is a pre-cursor to bullying. In a way its bullying "behind your back." That is vicious gossiping. It is the same negative behavior that is hurtful even though it is more cowardly since it is done behind your back. It seems to me that it is kinda like a form of bullying. If those men had made those remarks about a specific person and done so in front of them -- well of course that would have been bullying. So in my mind you have made me aware that bullying behind someone's back is still bullying.
Great article.

Reply
Beth Garcia
8/31/2014 02:39:30 am

Thank you, Tony. How right you are. Bullying takes many forms--all ugly.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Elizabeth A. Garcia, author

    Archives

    April 2018
    December 2017
    November 2016
    August 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    June 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    July 2013

    Pin any image
    from this page.

    RSS Feed

    Click "RSS Feed" icon to subscribe to Garcia's Blog feed.
    #garciabooks
    use this hashtag to find  Elizabeth A. Garcia; also use it to post about her.

    Links

    Alpine Daily Planet

    Big Bend River Tours

    Familias de Terlingua

    Front Street Books

    Marfa Book Co.

    Terlingua Trading Company

    Visit Big Bend

    Categories

    All

    A prickly perch
Deputy Ricos' Mountain

Copyright © 2014 Elizabeth A. Garcia 
All Rights Reserved


ASF Sites of Coyota Consulting