Elizabeth A. Garcia
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Breaking Promises to Myself

11/10/2014

10 Comments

 
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I promised myself I would stay away from controversy in my public writing. Yeah. Anyone who knows me knew that wouldn’t last.

Let’s consider marriage equality: yours, mine, and “theirs.” Opt out now if you need to.

When I was a young woman in high school, I saw this chilling quote that has never left my head. It’s attributed to German pastor Martin Niemoller. The “they” he refers to are the Nazis.

“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.”

So let it be said that I’m here and I’m speaking out and I’ll never quit. When they come for opinionated old women, perhaps someone will speak out for me.

There is a huge controversy in our country and around the world about same sex couples being allowed to marry. I simply don’t get it. If you’re against equality in marriage, then please answer this question: how will it hurt you? If you love your spouse, then how will someone else loving their spouse hurt your marriage?

If you say, “It makes me uncomfortable,” then that is just too bad. Get out of your comfort zone! That’s where all the really good stuff is anyway.

Please, please don’t tell me it’s because you’re a Christian. This is a pat answer that has no real meaning. It means you haven’t thought it through. You’re jumping on a bandwagon because your Aunt Bessie thinks it’s wrong or the confused and opinionated pastor at your church thinks it’s wrong. If your preacher says Christ spoke against homosexuals, then you need a new church.

Personally, I gave up on organized religion some time ago, but I would defend to the death your right to believe whatever you want. Because I was raised by religious parents, I’ve read the Bible more than once. It’s full of don’t do this or that—a person loses track. And the “don’t dos” change to reflect the times. Then we come to the New Testament, where there is a clear and ever-present DO. Do what? LOVE.

What did Christ say about homosexuality? Nothing. Nada. Not one word. Christ said we should love one another as we love ourselves. He didn’t say, “except for gay people or black people or people different from us.” He said love was the answer to everything, the only thing that matters. Why is that so hard to understand? Don’t come at me with hate and say you’re a Christian. I don’t buy it and something smells.

So what if it makes you uncomfortable for a man to be in love with a man or a woman to be in love with a woman? Get over it! Nobody is suggesting that you have to marry someone of the same sex.

In a world so full of hatred I think we should put a much higher value on love—all love. If you think your love is more valid than someone else’s, then you’re missing the point about love.

When I was a kid my mom used to take me to have my hair cut by a handsome man who went to our church. I have no idea how I knew this, but one day I realized that he was in love with a man who came to see him while he was working on my hair. They didn’t touch or say anything of real importance, but I knew it. On the way home I asked my mother about it and she said, “You’re right, Beth. They’re in love.”

“Will they get married?”

“They can’t get married,” my mom said.

“Why not?”

“The law prevents them from marrying. Only a man and a woman can get married.”

“That’s not fair!”

I knew it as a little kid. Things are changing slowly—way too slowly to suit me or anyone who’s waiting to be able to marry the person they love. Some people waited all their lives and died without ever having that privilege.

It would make me proud if our country embraced love between adults no matter whether it’s Bob and Sue or Bob and Bill or Sue and Betty. It would be the best thing for our hearts to choose love. Christ said it over two thousand years ago and gurus before and after him have said it. Every one of them advised us to choose love, yet we continue to get it wrong.

If love by itself doesn’t convince you, then think about this Martin Luther King, Jr. quote: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

What if they were coming for you?


 


10 Comments
Sylvia Holland Reuwer
11/10/2014 12:35:19 am

Love for me, please.

Reply
Amber
11/10/2014 02:55:02 am

My hero!

Reply
Palma
11/10/2014 08:23:51 am

About the only thing you did not mention is everyone should have equal rights to divorce lawyers, too.

Nobody EVER asked me what I (we) did in the bedroom...none of their business either!

Please keep on writing, I do so enjoy your stories!!!

Palma Beckett

Reply
Barbara Bergmann link
11/10/2014 11:49:57 am

I agree with you whole heartedly Beth. I hope you don't mind my taking the liberty of calling you that instead of a more formal title. When I read your first book, and it was a love story about two young men, I feel in love not only with them but in the things that they did to survive. Most will not be brave enough to state this, but I have had many gay, lesbian, and bisexual friends and relatives. We are all humans. We all have the right to love whom we please. Banning gay marriage is as wrong as banning inter- racial marriages once was. I have bi-racial grandchildren too. So, if you want to be a bunch of haters, well, go for it. But I will choose peace and love over hate, any day. I am going to share your post on face book which is where I picked up this thread. I do hope that you don't get a bunch of bigots but there is no telling. An aside, I am not a practicing Christian. That religion did not work for me. I tried most of my 60 some odd years, and in the years of the crone have chosen to walk a pagan path, one that is earth and science bound.

Reply
Tim McKenna
11/11/2014 12:32:39 pm

It takes a certain kind of courage and vision sometimes to voice your feelings when you are as right as the day is long and it seems the rest of the world has it dead wrong. You have joined that gifted group. Sadly, we have developed a culture of hate and fear in this country that must be addressed. I applaud your courage, Beth.

Reply
Virginia
11/10/2016 11:03:10 am

Thank you for your courage. I remember that quote from high school also and even if I don't quote it, I always try to live by it. I Remember two times as a young child being on the wrong side of the color issue and saying "why aren't they people ,too" . The adults had no answer except that that was the way it is.
Thank you again or the reminder.

Reply
Beth
11/10/2016 03:54:13 pm

Thank you!

Reply
Alexa
11/10/2016 11:37:11 am

We all celebrate when you take to your keyboard. There's a lot of that going on these days, and I'm headed that way, too.

There are immense events transpiring that are bringing injustice to the fore like never before. I know, we didn't ever think it could get bigger, but somehow the offenses continue to attain proportions we could not imagine. It seems to go in cycles. It peaked for a while in Germany a couple of generations ago, then had its time, but it's festering again. The ones who experienced it are dying off, and the communal mind forgets. Well here we are again, and the evil is rising like bile in our throats. Why do we so fear, and HATE, the different? Must we annihilate those who are not US? Just because they are not US? We cannot get to the universal truth that indeed we are all the SAME, under the skin, within the blood. And that your difference can coexist with mine without consequence…to your point. Love is always the answer, but we are not yet wise enough to formulate the question. It's a quick shortcut just to hate. Done and done. And here we are.

That is too elemental. I cannot coexist with those who would murder my planet, or my friends or those I love. And there we are again. I don't have the answer to that. I don't understand why it has to be so hard, and hurt so much.

Thank you, Beth, for the conscious creature that you are. And for saying it out loud.

Reply
Beth
11/10/2016 04:15:04 pm

Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments.I wrote this quite a while ago, but it seems even more important now.

Reply
Debi Fowler
11/10/2016 05:34:52 pm

Beth, it appears you got your wisdom from a Christian woman who knew what real, unconditional, love was all about. She was ahead of her time, just as you have always been. Thank you for sharing this very special part of who you are and how you think.

Reply



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